By: Krystal Vollmuth, LICSW
As I’m writing this, it’s a cold and dreary day in late autumn. It’s definitely not a picture perfect day that fall festival brochures advertise, with maple trees bursting with vibrant oranges, reds and yellows contrasting sharply with the green grass and twinkling sun in a cloud-less baby blue sky. Today, it’s grey and heavy, the sky is even crying softly, making puddles that splash as the cars speed by, on their way to somewhere warm, out of the misery that shrouds us. Escaping, avoiding the sadness.
I am rejoicing today. Now, I have been called “backwards” and “confusing” more than once in my life, so I understand if that’s your first thought, but hear me out. Today, on this horribly dreary day, I’m choosing to be joyful. Why? Because I want to be. I am celebrating that we have rainfall to help the drought. I am thankful that I don’t have to drag my ridiculously long hose across the yard again. I am thankful for the sound of raindrops falling on my windshield, even as my wipers are smearing and comically ineffective at actually wiping the rain away. I am thankful for the feel of the refreshing cold air on my cheeks, and the crispness that fall air brings. It smells like falling leaves and dirt and water, a very real, tangible smell, that I could literally sink my hands into by grasping the falling leaves that sprinkle like confetti.
Do you see what I did there? Things are far from perfect within my day, and I could dwell on those negative pieces, instead I’m choosing to see the positive little things that bring me happiness. The simplicity of joy is finding slivers of pleasure among the mundane, and even hard things. Being able to break down the overarching picture of a gloomy, cold day into pieces that spark a glow of happiness is the start of building a foundation of a joyful perspective in life.
Joy is not something that always comes easy in our fast-paced world. Joy is taking time to intentionally stop and smell the proverbial roses, and over time, this creates a new pattern in the ways we think. We can rebuild our natural tendency to be negative just by intentionally naming something that we are grateful for right now. Many scientific studies have tried to explain why some people are happier than others, more resilient and overall healthier, one of the common themes they have found is people have better outcomes if they are able to find joy and have gratitude in the present.
A practice I like to use is to name something from each of my five senses that I am thankful for. This allows me to tame my overactive brain and slow down the whirlwind of thoughts that tend consume me. Will you try it? Write down one thing that you can see, taste, hear, touch and smell that makes you smile. I ask you to write it down because it takes it out of your brain and makes it something you can refer back to on those hard days when it seems nothing brings joy. I kept a small notebook in my car for the longest time that was solely for these things that brought me joy every day. I would write in it before I left work for the day as a segway between my professional life and my personal life. Somedays it felt impossible to come up with even three things, and I would groan as I wrote something that felt was lame, like a pen that worked, but let me tell you, this practice works.
Joy is sunshine and laughter, when it comes easy. Taking a moment to pause and spot joy in your dull, dreary day, can bring sunshine and laughter to brighten those cold raindrops. Finding joy is so much more than the big, expensive, grand things, and you can re-train your brain to find it in everyday life. Break it down, make finding joy simple again. You can do this, I believe in the sunshine of joy within you.